An Artist's Reflection on an Unguarded Moment in which the Overflow of the Heart Spoke 

(Notice the difference between the right and left eyes.)

I do not like to think of myself as a sinful person. I go to great lengths to make my sin seem less sinful. I often use terms like "personality flaw," or "mistake" or "a regret" to describe the vices in my life. I "little white lie" to myself to make my sin appear less intense. To make my sin appear less black I dollop a little white (not my own white) into the pallet. To my eye, and to the world's eye, my sin no longer looks black, but gray. I have succeeded. For just a moment I step back from the portrait of my life to get a better view.

Unbidden the words of my high school art teacher fly into my foremost thoughts, "If you want to make glass sparkle, you must paint the blackest black next to the whitest white." 

Contrast. It brings out the twinkles of the eye, and the shimmers of the water. Without a full and rich value scale, a picture always lacks pop. Lack of contrast robs a picture of it's glory. 

Upon stepping back from this portrait, I see that I have robbed this canvas of a vital element - contrast. Pride, an evil which God detests, has refused to let black be black. Self-interest, not only in my life but in the entire history of humanity, has stolen the glory of the masterpiece that The Artist wishes to create. 

And that is shameful.

I drew this self-portrait as an illustration of this truth. I drew this picture to remind me that humility and vulnerability in my own life, may make me seem wretched, but allows for God to receive His deserved glory for His absolute perfection. Honest confession also primes our hearts to receive His perfect grace, which draws us out of darkness and into His marvelous light. I drew this picture as Augustine wrote his Confessions to, " remind myself of my past foulnesses and carnal corruptions, not because I love them, but so that I may love You, my God. It is from love of your love that I make the act of recollection. the recalling of my wicked ways is bitter in my memory, but I do so that You may be sweet to me, a sweetness touched by no deception, a sweetness serene and content."

*note the difference between the left and right eye is, you guessed it, contrast.

In March and April we helped out at our church with their annual education camp, which is 4 weeks of extra learning for middle and high school students from the rural part of Thailand called Easan in the province of Roi Et. The grapevine has had lots of great interaction with these students over the years through camps in Bangkok during the summer and camps in Easan during the school year. It's a great way for our college students to reach out to those in need, gain some useful experience, and grow as a community.

This year I was able to teach 9 high school students everyday, and we developed very close bonds. Please pray for these students as they continue to participate in our church's ministry in Roi Et. Pray that the seeds that have been planted during these summer will grow and take root in their hearts, and spread to the lives of their family and friends.